Oh Julia

At summer camp back in 1981, she called me a nerd. She teased me in front of her friends about the size of my parts. I had lived a sheltered life up until that camp experience, and she introduced me to the concepts of ridicule and shame.

The year after, I introduced her to the concepts of chemistry and fear.

God spelled backwards is....

So, God created dogs, right? He clapped his hands together and a turbulent air parted the clouds and lightning struck forth and begat Canines.

And Eve took a bite of the apple and ignored Adam, and Adam was a brat to Eve and got the "talk-to-the-hand" routine, and then Eve went skiing in the alps and Adam was pissed off and sad and came across a puppy and his heart was mended. A little bit, at least.

And then Karl Marx sailed upon Adam's shore along with a Chinaman named Confucius and Confucius said "It is easier to clean poop off the carpet than clean matters of the heart."

And that adage lives on to this day.