The End is Near

Jaxney walks into my office with a burning rage in his eyes. He marches across the expanse that exists between my door and my chair and bends at his waist so that his nose touches mine. Our noses slip and slide against each other while Jaxney stares into the depths of my retinas.

Through my heavy prescription glasses, I can't see shit at this distance.

Jaxney growls at me, "You keep putting your closing brackets in the same line as your Return statement. You KNOW that C++ coding standard demands that your closing brackets are placed in their own line!"

Jaxney's breath tells me he ate Spaghetti-Ohs for lunch. His carbon dioxide exhalations moisten my mustache. I hold back the urge to lick his chin.

"It saves space while decoding," I explain to him. Jaxney jumps backward in frustration. He pulls his hair, spins in a circle, and talks to God. Jaxney fondles his forhead, bites his lip, and then points both his index fingers directly at me.

"BUT... IT... IS... CODING... STANDARD!" he delivers. His cheeks pulsate colorfully. I cannot tell if he is about to cry or explode. I decide to diffuse the situation.

I stand up and put my arms around Jaxney and begin to walk him back toward the hallway. I tussle his hair, and coo into his ear. "I tell you what," I say softly. "You go back to your office, and I will continue to code my way, and then we will save space while we decode. How does that sound, young prince?"

Jaxney puts his thumb to his mouth and wanders off toward the restrooms, and everyone lives to see another day.